ksn: Chuck Norris' Ford Expedition gives him 55 miles per gallon. Because he told it to.
js: Chuck Norris is a doctor. While on duty at the hospital one day one of his patients stopped breathing. One icy stare from Doctor Norris caused the man's lungs to start pumping again out of fear. However, that same icy stare simultaneously caused the man's heart to stop beating out of sheer terror. The man was pronounced dead at the scene and all of Chuck Norris' nurses had to be resuscitated. BECAUSE he'd taken the Hippocratic Oath, Chuck Norris stopped practicing medicine.
js: (a CN fact my husband came up with this afternoon) The market isn't really crashing.... Chuck Norris just sneezed.
rbn: Chuck Norris doesn't recognize April Fool's Day ... because Chuck ain't nobody's fool.
cn: The last time Chuck Norris was chipping ice for drinks with his bare hands, a chunk of the glacier broke off and a Tsunami wiped out a seacoast town in Hawaii.
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