10-29-08

**attention Norris fact-ers:  I propose that we grant ourselves amnesty for past missed daily facts.  I, for one, know that I have experienced a recent fact-drought, exacerbated by the number of days I am back-logged.  In the spirit of starting anew, here is my fact for today- ksn

ksn: When Chuck Norris goes trick-or-treating, instead of collecting candy and treats he collects house deeds and car titles. 

10-9-08

rbn: Chuck Norris once trekked across the Sahara National Forest. Unfortunately, the heat generated by his body incinerated everything within hundreds of miles ... leaving the world's largest desert.

10-8-08

rbn: The only thing more deadly than a blast from both barrels of a double-barreled shotgun is getting hit by Chuck Norris' left and right fists.

10-7-08

js: The "Grim Reaper" is really just Chuck Norris delivering the news that he's about to roundhouse kick you in the face.

cn: Chuck Norris laughs in the face of Danger......because he's just knocked him to the ground with a roundhouse kick.

ksn: Chuck Norris once round-house kicked California (just for being California), and now we have the San Andreas Fault. It was originally called the "Chuck Norris Fault," but was quickly changed when everyone realized it is never Chuck Norris' fault. It's always yours for being in his way.

rbn: Dracula once tried to bite Chuck Norris. He now wears dentures.

10-6-08

rbn: Beethoven went deaf after Chuck Norris burped.

10-5-08

rbn: Chuck Norris can make the Pillsbury Dough Boy cry.

ksn: When they say Chuck Norris "ripped one,"  they mean a hole in the ozone layer. 

10-4-08

cn: "Once in a lifetime" is not very good when it comes to Ninjas and Chuck Norris.

ksn: Today's Chuck Norris fact comes in a multimedia format (I don't take credit for this one... I found it online).

rbn: "Life is hard ... then you get roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris."

10-3-08

ksn: When Chuck Norris gets on an elevator, it only goes up. Because nothing can take Chuck Norris down.

js: Chuck Norris has benevolently announced that he will no longer fly in consideration of the new FAA rules: Lethal weapons are not allowed on board aircraft, and Chuck Norris' fists are lethal.

cn: To Chuck Norris, the term "reload" means to 'take a breath.'

rbn: The funeral industry owes its existence to Chuck Norris' personal dislike for ninjas.

10-2-08

js: Today Chuck Norris announced his brilliant two-part plan to deal with the greed and corruption on wall street: his left and right fists.

ksn: Chuck Norris has no siblings because none of them survived childhood. This is because noogies in the Norris household were replaced with round-house kicks to the face.

cn: They say that lightning never strikes in the same place; unless you've been hit, kicked and punched by Chuck Norris.

rbn: Chuck Norris doesn't sweat ... he boils.

10-1-08

ksn: When a mosquito lands on Chuck Norris, it gets its blood sucked.

js: Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.

cn: Transvestites are Ninjas who are trying to hide from Chuck Norris.

rbn: Chuck Norris was once shot with an elephant tranquilizer. He yawned.